Cavaliers try to pay player salaries in swords

Some exciting news for Cavaliers players was announced this week as owner Dan Gilbert decided to pay all players in old-timey medieval swards again.  Gilbert, who has not interacted with his employees since being contractually obligated to give three high-fives during a 2016 championship ceremony, sat quietly above the practice facility to watch the players' reactions to the news. “Look at them.  They’re delirious with joy,” Gilbert said, watching like a gargoyle.  ...

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NBA deem Pistons, Cavilers and Kings ‘non-essential businesses’

NBA deems Pistons, Cavaliers and Kings ‘non-essential’

Disappointing news for some small-market teams was announced today as Adam Silver designated the Pistons, Cavaliers, and Kings as non-essential businesses. “It’s a safety thing,” Adam Silver said on a conference call.  “We just can’t risk those teams gathering a large audience and potentially inducing sickness upon their community—or worse, a big market community.” Broadcast personnel from TNT, ESPN and NBATV have been warned not to go near a non-essential team’s arena.   ...

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