You don’t become the most iconic winner in the history of sports by being Mr. Nice Guy. So while The Last Dance dazzled us with glorious slow-motion moments of the 1998 Bulls, Americans were also left with a blueprint of Michael Jordan’s vicious brand of bullying.
Now experts are telling us, since the documentary series aired, Americans bullying each other is up over 350%.
“Your punk a** is trying to talk to me?” a 9-year-old Florida girl replied when asked about the recent spike in bullying. “You can ask me questions after you lose about 25 pounds, ya fat a**!”
Even Walmart greeters have lost their friendly touch. “Oh, would you look at these sorry losers,” yelled 72 year-old Burt Dixon at some Sunday shoppers. “Looks like a pack of Scott Burrells if you ask me. Pathetic!”
Experts are worried that Jordan’s unfriendly nature is now being celebrated like never before. “Listen, Americans love winners,” a psychologist explained. “M.J. was a winner. We follow his lead. Sometimes without even knowing it. Got it dip s***?”