NBA referees remind public that momentary blindness is a COVID symptom
The NBA referees’ Twitter account has released a series of statements reminding sports fans that momentary blindness is “probably a COVID symptom.”
“For example, don’t be surprised if we call a goaltend as the ball is still in the shooter’s hands,” one tweet informs. “When we do stuff like that, please do not mock or ridicule the ref. Because it probably means an official has contracted the deadly virus and has weeks to live.”
Though many leading epidemiologists are disputing that momentary blindness is a COVID symptom, they have seen enough examples that NBA referees are, in fact, suffering from some type of serious disease. “We have our top scientists looking into what’s ailing this group of refs,” said Dr. Anthony Fauci. “We don’t have all the answers yet, but I’ve been saying for years, everyone please, stay at least sixty feet away from NBA referees.”
NBA officials continue to believe the league’s success is due to the wild and unpredictable style of rule enforcement. “We believe sports fans aren’t necessarily missing their favorite player or team, but rather the graceful back-peddling of a Tony Brothers or an Ed Malloy. We are so excited to return and aggressively wrestle the spotlight away from the players!”
