players in the stands

NBA Reminds Players: “Absolutely NO Going Into the Stands Unless Someone Says Something That Hurts Your Feelings”

A strongly worded letter has gone out to all 30 teams reminding each coaching staff that there will be absolutely zero tolerance for players entering the stands unless some fan says something that hurts their feelings. Following games where both Isaiah Thomas and Kyle Lowry went into the stands to confront fans, Commissioner Adam Silver appeared on The Jump to speak on the matter. “You know, sometimes I can be a rude cuss but when I say ‘zero tolerance’, I mean ...

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load management change floor

Guys Who Change Dallas’ NHL Floor to NBA Court Out Due to Load Management

DALLAS, TX-- The guys who change the NHL ice to the NBA court were held out of Monday’s floor shift due to load management. Herb Clifton, American Airlines Center’s operations manager, alerted the Mavericks that because it’s a long season he believed it was wise to rest his key floor changers. “These decisions are never popular,” said Herb.  “But ultimately I think the fans would much rather attend a playoff game with a fully assembled court than a random regular ...

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david Sterns last words

NBA to Honor David Stern’s Final Wishes

According to loved ones by David Stern’s bedside, the former NBA Commissioner's final request was, “Whatever happens, never let the Lakers get Chris Paul.” “I said, ‘of course, David,’” Adam Silver recounted. “Even if the Thunder put together a totally appropriate package which brings them both young prospects and draft picks, we’ll squash it.” “One more thing,” Stern whispered, “Make sure to enforce that dress code.  And grow your damn hair out ...

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