players in the stands

NBA Reminds Players: “Absolutely NO Going Into the Stands Unless Someone Says Something That Hurts Your Feelings”

A strongly worded letter has gone out to all 30 teams reminding each coaching staff that there will be absolutely zero tolerance for players entering the stands unless some fan says something that hurts their feelings.

Following games where both Isaiah Thomas and Kyle Lowry went into the stands to confront fans, Commissioner Adam Silver appeared on The Jump to speak on the matter.

“You know, sometimes I can be a rude cuss but when I say ‘zero tolerance’, I mean little tolerance, you guys!  This whole thing where our athletes are charging our paying customers is often times unacceptable,” Sliver said slapping the table.

“So if some fan is being super hateful, you expect these men to just TAKE IT?!” screamed Rachel Nichols.

“No!  No, not at all,” a rattled Silver rebutted.  “If a fan hurts your feelings, and you feel you need to beat their cracker ass, then by all means!”

The longer the interview went on, the more unclear the NBA’s stance on players confronting fans became.  Because of this, the league office emailed all 30 teams trying to clarify with the following:

“Listen, if one of your players gets into an altercation with a fan, just tell the media the fan said the N-word and we’ll look the other way.”

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