Jeanie Buss to Pelinka: “When I said we were ‘too thin’ at small forward, I didn’t mean to sign Jared Dudley”

Jeanie Buss to Pelinka: “When I said we were ‘too thin’ at small forward, I didn’t mean to sign Jared Dudley”

A heated exchange between Jeanie Buss and Rob Pelinka has surfaced and it involves former Bobcats star Jared Dudley.

A source in Lakers management is claiming a furious Buss yelled to a trembling Pelinka, “When I said we were ‘too thin’ at small forward, I didn’t mean to sign Jared freaking Dudley!”

In fairness to Pelinka, last spring was a tense one within the organization.  Magic Johnson had quit unexpectedly, the team came up 38 wins shy of the 8th seed, and LaVar Ball had hidden himself somewhere in the practice facility’s air conditioning duct system.  So when Jeanie addressed the ‘thin’ depth at small forward, Pelinka texted every agent, “911.  NEED YOUR FATTEST PLAYER!  WILL PAY ANYTHING.  WILLING TO TAMPER LIKE A MOTHER!”

Minutes later, arrangements for Oliver Miller to exit retirement and sign a 2-year deal with the Lakers were made.  A beaming Pelinka soon informed Jeanie that her worries of the small forward being too thin were over. 

Minutes later, however, he received a text explaining that Oliver Miller was now wheelchair-bound and Jared Dudley was the next best option.

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