Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

New York media members saw this coming, but many still weren’t prepared for the exhausting four-hour press conference new head coach Tom Thibodeau recently put them through. Sweating, no longer able to hold up their recording device and several of them openly weeping, it became clear the media was wildly out of shape and lacked the stamina to cover a Thibodeau-coached team.  Mid-way through the press conference a dozen reporters suffered ...

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Tempering Plumlee brother

Strict New Anti-Tampering Rule Would Strip Team of First Round Pick, Plumlee Brother

As offseason player movement becomes more frenetic, the NBA Board of Governors unanimously voted to pass new penalties on tempering. “We sent the following memo to the L.A. Lake--- I mean all thirty teams,” Adam Silver began his press conference. “Any team found to have improperly contacted a player will have one first round pick revoked and the removal of their Plumlee brother,” Silver read while dressed like a biker gang member.  This uncharacteristically harsh punishment from Silver is largely being seen ...

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NBA tie game twinsies

NBA to Cater to Millennials by Changing Phrase ‘Tie Game’ to ‘Twinsies!’

The NBA is leaving no stone unturned in its efforts to stop its ratings problem. Critics have implored the NBA to turn the ratings tide by addressing tough issues such as “load management” and the all-stars scheming to consolidate their talent on superteams. But the NBA has decided instead to double-down on their desire to win over the nation’s millennials by updating the phrase “tie game” to the more hip “twinsies!” During last week’s Suns / Knicks game, Mike Breen used ...

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knicks hello darkness my old friend

Knicks to Play “Hello Darkness, My Old Friend” During Player Introductions

The New York Knicks have decided to play “The Sounds of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel during player introductions Director of Game Operations Miguel Vazquez announced earlier today.  Vazquez told assembled media he felt the familiar opening line hello darkness, my old friend, was more appropriate for Knicks games.   The ultra depressing song will be replacing a remixed version of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind”. “It’s our job to match the music with the mood of the audience,” ...

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