Los Angeles health officials to allow Lakers to resume practice activities, not Clippers
Los Angeles citizens are known for two things: their beloved NBA basketball and strictly following all of the laws. So when it was announced that local health officials would allow the Lakers to resume practice activities, it was a cause for celebration.
“I can’t wait to pace the sidelines like the prowling lion that I am,” Lakers coach Frank Vogel said. Avery Bradley was also relieved by the news commenting, “I’ve been practicing playing defense against a lamp for two months. Held it to career lows in all categories, so yeah, I’m ready.”
“Oh, baby,—what a relief. Can’t wait to get back out there,” said Clippers coach Doc Rivers.
But it was Rivers’ comments that L.A. health officials found curious. “We said the Lakers could resume practice, who said anything about the Clippers?” a spokesman from the mayor’s office fired back in a press briefing. “If any member of the Clippers steps foot out of their home, they’ll be tackled, Lysol-ed, and thrown in county jail. I don’t care if it’s Doc Rivers or Danny Manning! We must slow the spread of the Clippers!”
Shortly after these comments, the Clipper front office was furious and immediately had their lawyers draft a memo demanding they be granted the same liberties as the Lakers.
Wearing a Lakers hat, the county health officer responded in a short video. “We understand this might look like two different standards,” he began. “So we would be happy to meet with the Clippers in their arena to clear this whole thing up. OH, WAIT! You don’t have an arena!” he hollered, crumbling up the memo into a ball and shooting it into a trashcan while yelling “KOBE!”