NBA fines Thunder $65,000 for repeatedly trading their own 1st round picks back and forth to themselves

The NBA has fined the Oklahoma City Thunder $65,000 for repeatedly calling the league office and requesting to swap their own first-round picks back to themselves.  “Hey guys, it’s Sam Presti.  We’d like you to record a trade we just finalized,” The OKC general manager said on his first call to NBA headquarters.  “Yeah, we’ve made a real doozy of a deal.  Maybe my best one yet.  We’ve decided to part ways with our number 15 pick and, and in exchange, ...

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Daryl Morey revamps 76ers court with lava pits to discourage mid-range shots

After years of pleading with coaches and players, Daryl Morey’s teams still find a way to shoot those pesky, inefficient mid-range two-point attempts.  In his last year with Houston, his Rockets players jacked-up a whopping three attempts that were neither a three-pointer nor dunk.  Naturally, this caused the collapse of the franchise, and Morey was forced to move on. “The same mistake won’t be made in Philadelphia,” Morey explained as he showed the press his new court design. “Now, when a player ...

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ESPN employee leaving building

ESPN fires 500 employees, donates their salaries to LeBron James

This week ESPN dismissed roughly 500 employees and has rerouted their salaries to LeBron James.  While it was disappointing news for long-time ESPN staffers, the move was inevitable once LeBron discovered there was some money circulating within the sports world that wasn’t his. “This ain’t right.  What happened today was awful,” LeBron said in an Instagram video.  “The fact that I’m just now getting my due?  Where was my cut for the last 17 years????  Don’t they understand I’m different? I’M ...

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Jr. NBA updates drills to better reflect skills needed for modern basketball

The dozens of nerdy middle-aged men who hastily log into the Jr. NBA website in an attempt to impress their step kids will soon see an updated set of drills for young basketball players.  After an in-depth review of what it takes to become a professional star in the modern era, the website felt a major overhaul was needed.  “Videos drills on dribbling, passing, shooting--that all had to go,” Adam Silver said.  “Our updated site identified the qualities that make a ...

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NBA fines Thunder $65,000 for repeatedly trading their own 1st round picks back and forth to themselves

The NBA has fined the Oklahoma City Thunder $65,000 for repeatedly calling the league office and requesting to swap their own first-round picks back to ...

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Daryl Morey revamps 76ers court with lava pits to discourage mid-range shots

After years of pleading with coaches and players, Daryl Morey’s teams still find a way to shoot those pesky, inefficient mid-range two-point attempts.  In his ...

Read More
ESPN employee leaving building

ESPN fires 500 employees, donates their salaries to LeBron James

This week ESPN dismissed roughly 500 employees and has rerouted their salaries to LeBron James.  While it was disappointing news for long-time ESPN staffers, the ...

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Jr. NBA updates drills to better reflect skills needed for modern basketball

The dozens of nerdy middle-aged men who hastily log into the Jr. NBA website in an attempt to impress their step kids will soon see ...

Read More
NBA requires Mike Breen to complete gun safety course before yelling ‘Bang!’

NBA requires Mike Breen to complete gun safety course before yelling ‘Bang!’

Because you can’t be too careful dealing with firearms, the NBA has informed ESPN play-by-play man Mike Breen that he must complete a gun safety ...

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NBA honors only remaining guy watching by painting his name on court

NBA honors only remaining guy watching by painting his name on court

When NBA officials learned that 19-year-old Kevin Peterson was their last remaining television viewer, all the players quickly dove onto the court with paint scrapers ...

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Nuggets’ Toughness Questioned After Arena Renamed ‘Tampax Center’

Nuggets’ Toughness Questioned After Arena Renamed ‘Tampax Center’

Many throughout the NBA are taking notice of the Denver Nuggets' lack of toughness following the renaming of their arena to the Tampax Center. “I don’t ...

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Steve Javie pops-in broadcast to remind viewers referees’ perfect streak of correct calls continues

Steve Javie pops-in broadcast to remind viewers referees’ perfect streak of correct calls continues

Fans were outraged again when former NBA referee, Steve Javie, interrupted the final moments of the Grizzlies/76ers game to remind the audience that the perfect ...

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A determined Marcus Smart studies film of wavy arm inflatable guys before big game

A determined Marcus Smart studies film of wavy arm inflatable guys before big game

Marcus Smart is not leaving anything to chance before the Celtics big game versus the Miami Heat tonight.  Per his request, team video coordinators have ...

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