Laker Fans Suggest All Games Except NBA Finals Go Back to Tape Delay Because #Ringzzz
Thousands of Los Angeles Laker fans have signed a petition demanding the NBA send all games back onto tape delay because #Ringzzz. According to research provided by the group, 88% of NBA fans that care about the regular season are “suckas”. Somehow even more damning, their study shows a whopping 93% of fan that enjoy the first round of the playoff tend to be what’s called “Ass clowns.” Because of this, Laker fans are making the case that NBA games outside of the NBA Finals shouldn’t be given the “props” ...
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The NBA has a ratings problem. This season ABC, ESPN and TNT are seeing a 22% drop and league experts know exactly why. “Easy answer. Racism,” Jackie MacMullan explained. “Unlike previous years, NBA fans are now flipping on the TV to watch some exciting basketball and many of them are now going, like, ‘What?! What in the name of Coldplay is going on around here? Minority members?’ and then research shows they’re flipping to Dawson’s Creek reruns we assume.” The racism reached new heights on Christmas Day when the results ...
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Adam Silver’s Attempt to Make Players Care About Games in November/December Seen as Deeply Offensive
As more information is leaked about the NBA’s proposed in-season tournament, the players union is becoming increasingly frustrated. The in-season tournament is largely designed to shift the non-compelling months of November and December into a product worth the public’s attention. “Perhaps our league’s richest tradition is for our athletes to loaf around the winter months, NBA player president Michele Roberts said in protest. “And we feel Adam Silver is trying to make them try hard. I can’t think of anything more offensive.” Silver understands if he asks players to give effort before ...
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Greg Oden and his lawyers are considering the invitation he received to participate on Dancing With the Stars a death threat. “Given my client’s history of injury, it is common knowledge that Greg would likely not have survived a production meeting, let alone a dance rehearsal,” read a statement from his lawyer. “Therefore, we believe this invitation to be a clear death threat and we have alerted the authorities,” the letter concluded. It appears the producers of Dancing with the Stars had no knowledge of the easily-injured former Trail Blazer. The invitation suggested Oden make a ...
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