NBA to require short speech on race relations between free throws
In the season restart in Orlando, the NBA has announced all players will be required to deliver a short speech on race relations between all free throws. The decision was made by LeBron James via tweet and the league office agreed to his demands with a press release twenty-two seconds later. According to the press release, after a player attempts the first three throw an audio/video crew will scramble onto the court and get the proper lighting set up. The player will ...
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The NBA referees’ Twitter account has released a series of statements reminding sports fans that momentary blindness is “probably a COVID symptom.” “For example, don’t be surprised if we call a goaltend as the ball is still in the shooter’s hands,” one tweet informs. “When we do stuff like that, please do not mock or ridicule the ref. Because it probably means an official has contracted the deadly virus and has weeks to live.” Though many leading epidemiologists are disputing that momentary ...
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This week it was announced the U.S. Supreme Court has agreed to hear arguments for the Michael Jordan versus LeBron James debate. Dozens of laptops are being set up around the Great Hall with YouTube highlight reels playing of each of the NBA stars. Memes showcasing their side-by-side career achievements have been blown-up on poster board so many of the elderly justices can properly see them. “So what, there’s a bull and a calf, but we’re supposed to choose the goat?” Ruth ...
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As the NBA gets closer to re-launching its season, the players were given some devastating news. Each player will be limited to only sixteen people to fill out their entourage, Adam Silver announced this week. “I know this isn’t popular news, but we must keep safety paramount,” Silver commented. “NBA players will only be allowed to have up to sixteen people in their entourage. According to our math, that’s the bare minimum for a player to function. While this seems harsh, ...
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