NBA to require short speech on race relations between free throws

NBA to require short speech on race relations between free throws

In the season restart in Orlando, the NBA has announced all players will be required to deliver a short speech on race relations between all free throws.  The decision was made by LeBron James via tweet and the league office agreed to his demands with a press release twenty-two seconds later.

According to the press release, after a player attempts the first three throw an audio/video crew will scramble onto the court and get the proper lighting set up.  The player will be required to share their deep knowledge on race relations for a minimum of eight minutes.  The following phrases must be included before play can resume:

-Black lives matter

-We’re only paid a fraction of what we deserve

-I can’t breath

-America is primarily comprised of jive turkeys

Friends didn’t have any black cast members

-Orange man bad

In the rare instance that a white player is awarded free throws, he will be required to listen and learn, as a player of color will attempt his free throws.  Shortly after this sequence, the white player will be fined $35,000 and dismissed from the league.   

League officials believe this will lengthen the average game by seven hours and would make the playoffs last until the fall of 2021.  However, the NBA is confident this is the right move. 

“Based on our assumptions, we believe that after a long day of work our fans want to turn on the game and listen to 22 year-olds teach them about race relations,” Adam Silver proudly said.  “Yes, we’ve heard that everyone hates this idea, but ESPN and TNT told us this was a great idea.  And those companies have big shiny buildings, so I’m pretty sure the networks know what they’re talking about.”

You May Also Like

Doc Rivers asks NBA to include more sounds of fans booing so it feels like a Clipper home game

Doc Rivers asks NBA to include more audio of fans booing so it feels like a Clippers home game

Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

NBA Asks Rob Pelinka To Stop Tampering With Giannis While He’s On The Free Throw Line

NBA Asks Rob Pelinka To Stop Tampering With Giannis While He’s On The Free Throw Line

Source: NBA players’ families at greater risk of ‘urgent matter’ the longer the bubble goes on

Source: NBA players’ families at greater risk of ‘urgent matter’ the longer the bubble goes on

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *