Report: NBA League Pass support team finally has good excuse for why subscribers can’t see games

Report: NBA League Pass support team finally has good excuse for why subscribers can’t see games

With the season on hiatus, the NBA has little to be thankful for.  But a new report is showing a bright spot for the technologically challenged league.  As every single basketball game is canceled, the support team over at League Pass finally has a logical reason for why subscribers can’t watch games.

“Before the virus, every night would be the same thing: everyone screaming at us because they can’t watch their favorite team,” a representative from LP explained.  “We had our script.  We would just accuse everyone of being in Denver based on IP addresses, mumble something about blackout restrictions and pray they hang up.  So with the shutdown, we were so eager to show up to work and finally have a good excuse.  I put my headset on and got ready to say, ‘it’s because all the games are canceled, silly!  That’s why you’re not seeing the games!’  But the phone never rang.”

Sadly, all the NBA LP reps were furloughed, and they were all asked to leave their Secaucus building.  As the reps left, they each softly tapped the large sign above which had the NBA LP mission statement proudly written on it:

At NBA league pass, our number one goal for our valued customers is for them not to yell at us.  If they can watch a game somewhere in there, great.  But please, enough with the yelling.  What is it with you people from Denver, anyways?

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“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter. After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens of NBA fans flipped over to catch the end of the TLC show, sinking Lakers/Rockets to rock bottom. “Listen up, idiots. The NBA losing 45% viewership is actually a good thing!” he began. “The only people we lost are probably white supremacists! And anyone who questions anything about the NBA is also a white supremacist! My research shows ordinary people spend all day playing games, and they want to unwind by listening to controversial political platitudes from highschool educated athletes. And to the executives at State Farm, American Express and T-Mobil trying to get out of your sponsorship deals—YOU’RE JUST DOING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE A BUNCH OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS!” An hour later, the NBA addressed Cuban’s controversial tweets by saying: “The NBA is a loving, welcoming, and tolerant institution. We want everyone to watch our games. However, anyone who is not watching our product and/or disagrees with our overtly political messaging, we think you’re just being a huge white supremacist.” Update: All US airports have struck a deal with the league to become the official broadcast partner of the NBA.

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