Bob Meyers clears KD for Full Contact

Bob Myers Clears Kevin Durant for Full Contact

Earlier this week, Warriors General Manager Bob Myers called up the Brooklyn Nets and gave Kevin Durant the green light for full 5-on-5 workouts. Meyer’s call was soon on speakerphone as he gave the news to the Brooklyn Nets training staff.  “Yep.  I think we’re all set.  Roll Kevin out there. Today,” he said sternly. Both the Nets and Durant’s doctors were determined to have the injured forward out for the entire season, but that was until Meyers began his world ...

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attempt to care about Nov and Dec

Adam Silver’s Attempt to Make Players Care About Games in November/December Seen as Deeply Offensive

As more information is leaked about the NBA’s proposed in-season tournament, the players union is becoming increasingly frustrated. The in-season tournament is largely designed to shift the non-compelling months of November and December into a product worth the public’s attention. “Perhaps our league’s richest tradition is for our athletes to loaf around the winter months, NBA player president Michele Roberts said in protest.  “And we feel Adam Silver is trying to make them try hard. I can’t think of anything ...

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all flopping on all shots

Adam Silver Dreams of a Day Where NBA Players Flop on Every Possession

Perhaps the only thing more graceful than a world-class NBA athlete rising up and swishing a 25-foot three-pointer is watching that same shooter jerk his head back, flailing his arms and screaming the F-word at the officials. NBA fans can appreciate that Adam Silver knows this better than anyone and he is working hard to give fans what they want. When the Commissioner was asked about the huge increase of call-seeking behavior from shooters, Silver took a victory lap. “Oh yes, it’s ...

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piston patch

Detroit Pistons to Advertise the Detroit Pistons on Jersey Patch

In an effort to raise the team’s profile, the Detroit Pistons have secured a jersey patch agreement with themselves. “Today we’re proud to announce that, after some of the toughest negotiations you’ll ever see, we landed a jersey patch deal with a grea---uhh, pretty goo—with a local company,” President Ed Stefanski said in a press conference announcing the new partnership. While today’s unveiling ceremony was mostly positive, some NBA officials are worried about the horrible reputation of the Pistons brand ...

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knicks hello darkness my old friend

Knicks to Play “Hello Darkness, My Old Friend” During Player Introductions

The New York Knicks have decided to play “The Sounds of Silence” by Simon & Garfunkel during player introductions Director of Game Operations Miguel Vazquez announced earlier today.  Vazquez told assembled media he felt the familiar opening line hello darkness, my old friend, was more appropriate for Knicks games.   The ultra depressing song will be replacing a remixed version of Jay-Z and Alicia Keys’ “Empire State of Mind”. “It’s our job to match the music with the mood of the audience,” ...

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