Jr. NBA updates drills to better reflect skills needed for modern basketball
The dozens of nerdy middle-aged men who hastily log into the Jr. NBA website in an attempt to impress their step kids will soon see an updated set of drills for young basketball players. After an in-depth review of what it takes to become a professional star in the modern era, the website felt a major overhaul was needed.
“Videos drills on dribbling, passing, shooting–that all had to go,” Adam Silver said. “Our updated site identified the qualities that make a truly great star and we’re thrilled to now be teaching them. Things like, how to demand a trade, proper technique on getting your coach fired, and most importantly, how to build a super team.”
The NBA is hopeful these new training videos will prevent another Dwight Howard situation. “Dwight was on top of the world, but he botched all of these critical skills and ended up looking like a homeless Rastafarian on the Hornets,” Silver said getting choked up with pity.
So far, the new drills are helping youngsters.
“Are you guy serious? You expect me to win with Logan?! He’s a chunky little 4th grader with a stutter! This is bull s***!” screamed Cincinnati stand-out Jayden Harold after watching the Jr. NBA how-to video on building a super team. “This is wack. I’m moving to Dayton to ball with Trevor Robinson. See, see, see, see, see, see, see, see, see ya later, Logan!”
Had young Jayden followed the Jr. NBA drills more closely, he would have used proper form by getting his YMCA coach fired before bolting to Dayton. Nevertheless, the new program is being considered a success.