“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter. After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens of NBA fans flipped over to catch the end of the TLC show, sinking Lakers/Rockets to rock bottom. “Listen up, idiots. The NBA losing 45% viewership is actually a good thing!” he began. “The only people we lost are probably white supremacists! And anyone who questions anything about the NBA is also a white supremacist! My research shows ordinary people spend all day playing games, and they want to unwind by listening to controversial political platitudes from highschool educated athletes. And to the executives at State Farm, American Express and T-Mobil trying to get out of your sponsorship deals—YOU’RE JUST DOING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE A BUNCH OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS!” An hour later, the NBA addressed Cuban’s controversial tweets by saying: “The NBA is a loving, welcoming, and tolerant institution. We want everyone to watch our games. However, anyone who is not watching our product and/or disagrees with our overtly political messaging, we think you’re just being a huge white supremacist.” Update: All US airports have struck a deal with the league to become the official broadcast partner of the NBA.

Mark Cuban: ‘NBA ratings down 45% is actually a good thing’

“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter.  After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens ...

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J.R. Smith pledged $1000 to charity for each touchdown he scores this season

A touching but bizarre gesture was made by Lakers guard J.R. Smith on Instagram over the weekend.  “I’ve decided that I will donate $1,000 for each touchdown I score this season.  And that’s a promise,” a shirtless Smith said while squinting a great deal into his phone.  “There’s a lot of jokers out there that say they’ll help, but they lack the smarts to make a real difference.  I know I ...

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Gannis getting tampered with

NBA asks Rob Pelinka to stop tampering with Giannis while he’s on free throw line

The Orlando restart has everyone in the NBA excited to return to their job.  But Lakers’ GM Rob Pelinka might be the most excited to resume his special talent:  Getting caught tampering. During the Milwaukee Bucks scrimmage against the Spurs, Pelinka became unable to control himself as Antetokounmpo made his first trip to the free-throw line.  “Hey, wow!  Crazy to bump into you like this, Giannis,” Pelinka said briskly skipping onto the ...

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NBA fines Damian Lillard $40,000 for playing in Portland

NBA fines Damian Lillard $40,000 for playing in Portland

On Sunday, the NBA announced that Blazers guard Damian Lillard was fined $40,000 for his "insistence on being an all-world talent for the city of Portland when perfectly good markets like Los Angeles or New York are available.” Lillard’s defiance became most noticeable when he averaged 74 points and 13 three-pointers for the stupid Oregon team during their eight game bid for the postseason. “We’ve been over this with Damian,” Adam Silver commented.  “He was allowed ...

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Alex Caruso to Laker teammates: ‘Stop asking me to do your taxes’

Alex Caruso to Laker teammates: ‘Stop asking me to do your taxes’

Life for an NBA role player can be difficult.  Just ask balding Lakers guard Alex Caruso.  Reports are the third-year guard is being routinely asked by teammates to look over their taxes and it’s been effecting his on-court development.  Caruso has no professional accounting skills, but his teammates do not seem to understand that.  Take this exchange in a recent practice for example: “Hey, Kuzma!  If your man leaves you to double me, ...

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Doc Rivers asks NBA to include more sounds of fans booing so it feels like a Clipper home game

Doc Rivers asks NBA to include more audio of fans booing so it feels like a Clippers home game

Doc Rivers has asked the Orlando game-ops crew to pipe in audio of fans booing so as to better replicate the atmosphere of Clipper home games.   “My guys are at the free-throw line hearing the sound of loyal fans cheering, and they’re getting spooked and rattled,” Rivers explained.  “We deserve a similar environment to the Staples Center where about 70% of the crowd resents us.” The NBA has agreed with the Clippers’ coach ...

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Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

Tom Thibodeau puts New York media through grueling 4-hour press conference

New York media members saw this coming, but many still weren’t prepared for the exhausting four-hour press conference new head coach Tom Thibodeau recently put them through. Sweating, no longer able to hold up their recording device and several of them openly weeping, it became clear the media was wildly out of shape and lacked the stamina to cover a Thibodeau-coached team.  Mid-way through the press conference a dozen reporters suffered ...

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Source: NBA players’ families at greater risk of ‘urgent matter’ the longer the bubble goes on

Source: NBA players’ families at greater risk of ‘urgent matter’ the longer the bubble goes on

Several league officials in Orlando are confirming the strange spike in NBA players needing to leave the bubble to attend to “urgent family matters.” “It’s the craziest thing,” the source said.  “We are only weeks into the bubble and their family members are dropping like flies!” “My family was having urgent matters right and left when I was in that stuffy hotel room,” Zion Williamson said, now comfortably back in his New Orleans ...

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NBA to require short speech on race relations between free throws

NBA to require short speech on race relations between free throws

In the season restart in Orlando, the NBA has announced all players will be required to deliver a short speech on race relations between all free throws.  The decision was made by LeBron James via tweet and the league office agreed to his demands with a press release twenty-two seconds later. According to the press release, after a player attempts the first three throw an audio/video crew will scramble onto the court ...

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NBA referees remind public that momentary blindness is a COVID symptom

NBA referees remind public that momentary blindness is a COVID symptom

The NBA referees’ Twitter account has released a series of statements reminding sports fans that momentary blindness is “probably a COVID symptom.” “For example, don’t be surprised if we call a goaltend as the ball is still in the shooter’s hands,” one tweet informs.  “When we do stuff like that, please do not mock or ridicule the ref.  Because it probably means an official has contracted the deadly virus and has ...

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