Many throughout the NBA are taking notice of the Denver Nuggets' lack of toughness following the renaming of their arena to the Tampax Center. “I don’t like it. Not one bit. We’ve totally lost our home-court advantage,” Coach Mike Malone told the media. “Now we can hear opposing teams yell things like, ‘Come on, guys, you want to lose in a place called the Tampax Center?’ and we’re getting everyone’s A-game.” ...
Read More
Fans were outraged again when former NBA referee, Steve Javie, interrupted the final moments of the Grizzlies/76ers game to remind the audience that the perfect streak of correct calls from referees continues. As usual, the ESPN crew summoned Javie to speak after a controversial call. “Ok, take a look at Memphis guard, Dillon Brooks,” Javie commented over the slow-motion replay. “After beginning to heave a three-pointer, he realizes he doesn’t know how ...
Read More
Marcus Smart is not leaving anything to chance before the Celtics big game versus the Miami Heat tonight. Per his request, team video coordinators have compiled ten hours of those big wavy arm inflatable guys to better prepare the shooting guard for battle. “I’m a tough guy. Someone who’s willing to fall down on any given play. You wrote down that I’m tough, right?” Smart asked the media. “Coach Stevens wants ...
Read More
Chain Net Night has been added to the regular season as the NBA continues to search for sponsorship opportunities. The special night, which was sponsored by Smirnoff Ice, debuted with the Clippers and Nuggets, each trying to score the ball through a rusty chain net. “We wanted some more money---err, I mean, we wanted to bring a more playground feel to the game, and I think we accomplished that,” Adam Silver ...
Read More
“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter. After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens ...
Read More
A touching but bizarre gesture was made by Lakers guard J.R. Smith on Instagram over the weekend. “I’ve decided that I will donate $1,000 for each touchdown I score this season. And that’s a promise,” a shirtless Smith said while squinting a great deal into his phone. “There’s a lot of jokers out there that say they’ll help, but they lack the smarts to make a real difference. I know I ...
Read More
The Orlando restart has everyone in the NBA excited to return to their job. But Lakers’ GM Rob Pelinka might be the most excited to resume his special talent: Getting caught tampering. During the Milwaukee Bucks scrimmage against the Spurs, Pelinka became unable to control himself as Antetokounmpo made his first trip to the free-throw line. “Hey, wow! Crazy to bump into you like this, Giannis,” Pelinka said briskly skipping onto the ...
Read More
On Sunday, the NBA announced that Blazers guard Damian Lillard was fined $40,000 for his "insistence on being an all-world talent for the city of Portland when perfectly good markets like Los Angeles or New York are available.” Lillard’s defiance became most noticeable when he averaged 74 points and 13 three-pointers for the stupid Oregon team during their eight game bid for the postseason. “We’ve been over this with Damian,” Adam Silver commented. “He was allowed ...
Read More
Life for an NBA role player can be difficult. Just ask balding Lakers guard Alex Caruso. Reports are the third-year guard is being routinely asked by teammates to look over their taxes and it’s been effecting his on-court development. Caruso has no professional accounting skills, but his teammates do not seem to understand that. Take this exchange in a recent practice for example: “Hey, Kuzma! If your man leaves you to double me, ...
Read More
Doc Rivers has asked the Orlando game-ops crew to pipe in audio of fans booing so as to better replicate the atmosphere of Clipper home games. “My guys are at the free-throw line hearing the sound of loyal fans cheering, and they’re getting spooked and rattled,” Rivers explained. “We deserve a similar environment to the Staples Center where about 70% of the crowd resents us.” The NBA has agreed with the Clippers’ coach ...
Read More