The dozens of nerdy middle-aged men who hastily log into the Jr. NBA website in an attempt to impress their step kids will soon see an updated set of drills for young basketball players.  After an in-depth review of what it takes to become a professional star in the modern era, the website felt a major overhaul was needed.  “Videos drills on dribbling, passing, shooting--that all had to go,” Adam Silver said.  “Our updated site identified the qualities that make a ...

When NBA officials learned that 19-year-old Kevin Peterson was their last remaining television viewer, all the players quickly dove onto the court with paint scrapers and frantically removed the words “Black Lives Matters”.  In its place, “Kevin Peterson” was painted on in an effort to honor their last audience member. "I've always said, my job is to shut up and dribble,” LeBron told the press once he learned his next contract would be under fourteen dollars.   The news gets even worse for ...