“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter. After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens of NBA fans flipped over to catch the end of the TLC show, sinking Lakers/Rockets to rock bottom. “Listen up, idiots. The NBA losing 45% viewership is actually a good thing!” he began. “The only people we lost are probably white supremacists! And anyone who questions anything about the NBA is also a white supremacist! My research shows ordinary people spend all day playing games, and they want to unwind by listening to controversial political platitudes from highschool educated athletes. And to the executives at State Farm, American Express and T-Mobil trying to get out of your sponsorship deals—YOU’RE JUST DOING THAT BECAUSE YOU’RE A BUNCH OF WHITE SUPREMACISTS!” An hour later, the NBA addressed Cuban’s controversial tweets by saying: “The NBA is a loving, welcoming, and tolerant institution. We want everyone to watch our games. However, anyone who is not watching our product and/or disagrees with our overtly political messaging, we think you’re just being a huge white supremacist.” Update: All US airports have struck a deal with the league to become the official broadcast partner of the NBA.

Mark Cuban: ‘NBA ratings down 45% is actually a good thing’

“The next time I hear someone worth less than 30 million say the NBA’s ratings are in trouble, I’m going to throw my tiara at them,” a fuming Cuban tweeted in a recent rant. His on-line rant was a result of Friday night’s Lakers/Rockets being the second least viewed program mid-way through the 3rd quarter.  After it was announced that only TLC’s Sex Sent Me To The ER ranked lower, dozens of NBA fans flipped over to catch the end of ...

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J.R. Smith pledged $1000 to charity for each touchdown he scores this season

A touching but bizarre gesture was made by Lakers guard J.R. Smith on Instagram over the weekend.  “I’ve decided that I will donate $1,000 for each touchdown I score this season.  And that’s a promise,” a shirtless Smith said while squinting a great deal into his phone.  “There’s a lot of jokers out there that say they’ll help, but they lack the smarts to make a real difference.  I know I can score five or six touchdowns for the purple and ...

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Gannis getting tampered with

NBA asks Rob Pelinka to stop tampering with Giannis while he’s on free throw line

The Orlando restart has everyone in the NBA excited to return to their job.  But Lakers’ GM Rob Pelinka might be the most excited to resume his special talent:  Getting caught tampering. During the Milwaukee Bucks scrimmage against the Spurs, Pelinka became unable to control himself as Antetokounmpo made his first trip to the free-throw line.  “Hey, wow!  Crazy to bump into you like this, Giannis,” Pelinka said briskly skipping onto the court.  “Hey, while I have you here, I was wondering ...

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NBA fines Damian Lillard $40,000 for playing in Portland

NBA fines Damian Lillard $40,000 for playing in Portland

On Sunday, the NBA announced that Blazers guard Damian Lillard was fined $40,000 for his "insistence on being an all-world talent for the city of Portland when perfectly good markets like Los Angeles or New York are available.” Lillard’s defiance became most noticeable when he averaged 74 points and 13 three-pointers for the stupid Oregon team during their eight game bid for the postseason. “We’ve been over this with Damian,” Adam Silver commented.  “He was allowed to spend a few years and have fun in Portown ...

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Report: China Has Been Altering All NBA Games So Yao Ming Drills Game-Winning 3-Pointer

It has been learned that China has been doctoring the end of all close NBA games to feature Yao Ming drilling game-winning three-pointers.  The discovery was made when ...

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Strict New Anti-Tampering Rule Would Strip Team of First Round Pick, Plumlee Brother

As offseason player movement becomes more frenetic, the NBA Board of Governors unanimously voted to pass new penalties on tempering. “We sent the following memo to the L.A. Lake--- ...

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NBA Reminds Players: “Absolutely NO Going Into the Stands Unless Someone Says Something That Hurts Your Feelings”

A strongly worded letter has gone out to all 30 teams reminding each coaching staff that there will be absolutely zero tolerance for players entering the stands unless ...

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NBA to Cater to Millennials by Changing Phrase ‘Tie Game’ to ‘Twinsies!’

The NBA is leaving no stone unturned in its efforts to stop its ratings problem. Critics have implored the NBA to turn the ratings tide by addressing tough issues ...

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Guys Who Change Dallas’ NHL Floor to NBA Court Out Due to Load Management

DALLAS, TX-- The guys who change the NHL ice to the NBA court were held out of Monday’s floor shift due to load management. Herb Clifton, American Airlines Center’s ...

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NBA to Honor David Stern’s Final Wishes

According to loved ones by David Stern’s bedside, the former NBA Commissioner's final request was, “Whatever happens, never let the Lakers get Chris Paul.” “I said, ...

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Bob Myers Clears Kevin Durant for Full Contact

Earlier this week, Warriors General Manager Bob Myers called up the Brooklyn Nets and gave Kevin Durant the green light for full 5-on-5 workouts. Meyer’s call was soon on ...

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Laker Fans Suggest All Games Except NBA Finals Go Back to Tape Delay Because #Ringzzz

Thousands of Los Angeles Laker fans have signed a petition demanding the NBA send all games back onto tape delay because #Ringzzz. According to research provided by the group, ...

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NBA raitings down because racism

NBA Blames Low Ratings on Racism

The NBA has a ratings problem.  This season ABC, ESPN and TNT are seeing a 22% drop and league experts know exactly why. “Easy answer.  Racism,” Jackie MacMullan explained.  ...

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